Whoa! I haven't been on here in three years, that's crazy. Where have the time gone? Better yet, what do I have to show for it? It might be ridiculous for me to say this, but I kind of feel like I was better then than I am now. Who am I kidding, no, I'm just a little lost. I'm still the same Kay, with the same thoughts, just a little more magnified, but hazy all in the same breath. I'm at this weird point in my life where time and reality don't exist. It's like I'm here, but I'm not. I've seen a lot, and done a lot but not enough to change me. Yes, I've changed but it's kind of weird, because I always pictured myself being a lot different at this point of my life by now. Progress has been made, but I'm not nearly where I dreamed I'd be three years ago. I think it's like that for everyone. You put your future self on this ridiculously high pedestal, and then beat your self up when you finally catch up to that figment and realize that you're still at the bottom of the totem pole. That's not fair, but that's exactly what I do. Luckily, I've learned how to just go with the flow, because I'm tired of letting myself down. I'm not exactly sure if that the right approach anymore. Even though I feel relieved of the pressure I put on myself, it's like now I'm just lost with no direction. Like a leaf just blowing in the wind. Whatever I guess, it'll all work itself out. I'll work myself out.
